


Apologies

by kuro1neko2kun



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode 1, Gen, Introspective-ish, M/M, Shadowhunters Season 2, Some Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 01:10:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9357833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuro1neko2kun/pseuds/kuro1neko2kun
Summary: S02E01 - Alec left the Institute in the afternoon, but arrived at Magnus's loft after dark.What was he doing with all that time?





	

_Lightwoods break noses and accept the consequences._

Alec’s not sure how true it is anymore. He’s watched as his parents lie to his face, trying to save some nebulous concept like “the family pride”. That’s not accepting consequences. Their whole deal with the Clave to hide their Circle memberships isn’t accepting the consequences.

Jace is gone, Valentine has him and the Mortal Cup. Aldertree was put in charge of the Institute… _his_ Institute. Clary and her bloodsucking friend are still wandering around putting themselves and all the people Alec loves at risk. The fact that that only really includes Jace and Isabelle doesn’t make the problem better.

So yea. He needs to find Jace. If he finds Jace, maybe everything will make a little more sense. Without his parabatai, he’s lost. It’s like a chunk of his soul has been ripped out, gone just like that. The worst part of it is the flashes, the tiny wisps of emotion that drift back along their bond. Not enough to find him. Not even enough to know if he’s safe.

Everything is getting out of hand.

Magnus… Magnus is the only bright thing in his life right now. The hope of something _more_ , something that he’s been denying himself for all these years. And he’s screwed that up too.

He knows in his head that the way he tried to use Magnus was wrong. Lashing out at him was wrong. But all his edges are raw right now, and even Magnus’s friendly concern is just too much. Still, he knows he owes Magnus an apology. That’s why he’s in a park right now, staring in the direction of Magnus’s loft and trying to think of some way to apologize. The right words are impossible to find, and Magnus deserves more than a measly ‘I’m sorry’.

After all, Lightwoods break noses and accept the consequences. And Alec is a Lightwood, despite everything.

Maybe if he Googles how to apologize…

No. That’s too sad, even for him.

He’s been wandering around the park for so long the sun has started to retreat below the skyline. But it has to be perfect. Or at least sincere. Because Magnus is this bright person in his life that, for whatever reason, likes him even though he’s been messing up for as long as he’s known him. And that deserves more than some sort of half-hearted apology with no substance and no thought behind it.

What’s Alec apologizing for? The list goes on. But he could start with using Magnus as what amounted to a prop at his wedding. Or with brushing him off earlier today.

If Jace were still here, he’d probably have some sort of advice.

Then again, if Jace were here, this would probably be less of a problem.

Running a hand through his hair, he sighs. Wandering around the park has been an exercise in futility. Checking the time, he figures he has maybe another hour or two before his mo- before Maryse rats him out, if his absence hasn’t been noted already. Ready or not, it’s time to apologize. Hopefully Magnus is home.


End file.
